July August Weird Wednesday Titles and Writeups

Bad news for Michigan Phil. Freebie & The Bean.

THE MIAMI CONNECTION

July 7, Dir. Y.K. Kim and Woo-sang Park, 1986, 35mm, Ritz

Earlier this year at Weird Wednesday we presented a pretty astonishing film, NINJA TURF, a film that contains no ninjas at all but nevertheless thrilled the crowd with its depiction of immigrant street gangs and 35-year old high school students. The crowd was confused, many were angry, a few had blood streaming from their eyes. But we all knew we'd witnessed something. Now for those same people and also for those who missed NINJA TURF because they had to work or were pussies, we present the director's followup THE MIAMI CONNECTION. It also takes place among superannuated high schoolers and there's a lot of talk (and even a song) about ninjas but it remains to be seen whether any ninjas were actually persuaded to appear in this film. Part of us hopes not. After all, it's not ninjas themselves that excite us, it's the anticipation that ninjas might appear. (Lars)

GONE WITH THE POPE

July 14, Dir. Duke Mitchell, 2010, 35mm, Ritz

In what was believed for years to be his only movie as writer-director, MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE (aka THE EXECUTIONER), Duke Mitchell (aka Dominic Micelli) created a film about the mafia that crackled with vular authenticity. It's kind of an underground classic, showing small-time underworld hoods in much the same light as THE SOPRANOS did so many years later. Mundane details of criminal life were given the same weight as the machinations of a major racket. MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE, while not perfect, leaves the audience wanting more of Mitchell's odd world view. We're happy to report that Duke Mitchell's lost film GONE WITH THE POPE has surfaced. It's further proof that Mitchell is the cinematic poet of vinyl sofas, mustache wax and overloaded bullet squibs. The premise is brilliant, a hustling crook gets the bright idea to kidnap the pope and demand $1 ransom from every Catholic on the planet! Our knuckles are sweating with anticipation! (Lars)

HOLLYWOOD HIGH

July 21, Dir. Patrick M. Wright, 1976, 35mm, Ritz

70s teen sex comedies were never noted for high standards of writing, acting, editing or directing but HOLLYWOOD HIGH is a goddamn outrage. They say if you gave an infinite number of monkeys typewriters one of them would produce Hamlet. Well, if you gave three monkeys a camera, they could produce HOLLYWOOD HIGH and be done in time for lunch and a rubdown in the steam room. It's just uncommonly poor in every regard. But that doesn't mean it won't give you every bit as much entertainment as a movie made by people with IQs over 100. It's mainly about a group of teenagers who get high, drink a lot of beer and then look for a place to have sex. They made a whole movie about that. There's also a guy who's supposed to resemble the Fonz from HAPPY DAYS. He's called "the Fenz." Also, I have reason to suspect the guy playing the wacky retarded guy is actually retarded. Be warned. (Lars)

CANDY TANGERINE MAN

July 28, Dir. Matt Cimber, 1975, 35mm, Ritz

One of the all-time great blaxploitation classics. Though not as well known as the bigger-budget, studio-distributed hits like SHAFT and SUPERFLY, CANDY TANGERINE MAN was one of the most popular, widely seen independent movies of the '70s. It's a kind of Jekyll and Hyde story. The Baron is a middle-class suburban family man by day (he even mows the lawn), but when the sun goes down he's the king of pimps. His Rolls Royce even has flames painted on the sides. No other movie, not even THE MACK, has presented such a colorful, fun, nasty view of "the life". Anyone who shows up for this one expecting to see a slick polished Hollywood showroom model will be disappointed. On the other hand, those who expect to see a wall-to-wall velour fashion show with a thumping funk soundtrack and nasty, mean-spirited dialogue straight out of Iceberg Slim will find themselves aloft and afloat on a purple-velvet, Hai-Karate-scented cloud nine. With flames painted on the sides. From the director of THE WITCH WHO CAME FROM THE SEA. (Lars)

MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH

Aug 4, Dir. William Grefe, 1976, 35mm, Ritz

Part of Alamo SHARK WEEK! August 2-8 at the Ritz! Ever since the colossal success of JAWS, there have been lots of movies made about the shark menace. The smell of money in the water drove producers into a rip-off frenzy, resulting in such immortal works as UP FROM THE DEPTHS, GREAT WHITE, MONSTER SHARK and their little homies BARRACUDA, ORCA and TENTACLES. MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH at least has an original angle on things. Richard Jaeckel plays a weird nature-loving guy in South Florida who has a psychic link with sharks. When he finds out they're being exploited by scumbag scientists who conduct illegal experiments on them, he decides to take a bite out of crime. More a portrait of Jaeckel's obsessive oddball than a shark movie at all, MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH has a lot of the steamy pulp energy that characterizes Florida movies. Everyone is covered with a thin layer of sweat and grime and most of the plot logic seems to have been boiled out of the mixture. With foxy Jennifer Bishop as one of those mermaids in a tank, Harold "Oddjob" Sakata and Milton "Butterball" Smith as "Butter". (Lars)

FREEBIE AND THE BEAN

Aug 11, Dir. Richard Rush, 1974, 35mm, Ritz

A buddy movie about two fascist cops in San Francisco. They violate the civil rights of everyone within a 400 foot radius, steal, extort, destroy a lot of private and public property, shoot and run over innocent bystanders. they're total fucking dicks and they're great. James Caan plays Freebie, who uses his badge to get as many perks as he can, and Alan Arkin plays Bean, a Mexican American (!) cop with a serious anger management problem. The film follows them through a typical investigation as they ruthlessly beat confessions out of suspects, perform illegal searches, shoot a nurse, ridicule a dentist and worse. While it may sound grim - it's not. It's hilarious. Caan and Arkin are relentlessly charming and funny, even as they shred the constitution and wreck dozens of cars. Director Richard Rush (THE STUNT MAN, PSYCH OUT) was basically given carte blanche to use San Francisco as his canvas, and he creates a subversive masterpiece that leaves audiences exhausted from laughing and cheering. (Lars)

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS

Aug 18, Dir. Bert I. Gordon, 1965, 35mm, Ritz

Bizarre mod fantasy about a group of juvenile delinquents who take a growth potion created by young Ron Howard and become giant hellraising teenagers. It's a pretty extreme cautionary parable about the inevitable youth revolt that was already germinating fast in the initial wave of baby boomer puberty. But sociology aside, it's a lot of fun, there's a kind of careening irresponsibility in it all, as the young people literally walk all over the adult establishment. It's also sexy in that inimitable mid-'60s way. When the teenagers grow, they naturally grow out of their clothes so we're treated to the spectacle of radiant, healthy young 60 foot-tall beauties wearing a scrap or two of improvised clothing. Very loosely based on the story "Food Of The Gods" by H.G. Wells. Starring Beau Bridges, Joy Harmon, Tisha Sterling, Johnny Crawford and a raging young Toni Basil. (Lars)

CHOOSE YOUR OWN WEIRD WEDNESDAY

Aug 26

YOU MUST CHOOSE! Since its inception, the Weird Wednesday Choose Your Own Adventure Night has been a virtual guarantor of cinematic strangeness far beyond even our own Wildest Dreams. Here's how it works: we pull three movies from the vaults, I'll fill you in a bit on the details, then you, the audience, will choose the movie by applauding. As always, we have some awesome movies set aside for just such an occasion. Choose Your Own Weird Wednesday is one of the great, though irregularly scheduled, traditions of this series. Some of the best, wrongest and just plain awkward moments in my life (Anybody remember the chugging magenta meat of COUNTRY HOOKER?) have been at Choose Your Own Weird Wednesday nights. This year make your voice heard! And don't come sniffing around looking for hints about which movies will be in the mix 'cause I'll just make some shit up. (Lars)

May/June Weird Wednesday Calendar

From GRASP OF THE LORELEI.

Here's what's happening in May and June.

STINGRAY

MAY 5, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. RICHARD TAYLOR, 1978, 35MM, 100 MIN, PG

This regional car chase movie from the St. Louis area doesn't skimp on automotive action, humor or surprising violence. Chris Mitchum and Les Lannom play a pair of boring pals who save up their money to buy a red '64 Corvette, only to find that some hoods have stashed heroin and cash under the seat. They're also wrongly accused of being cop-killers so not only are the crooks after them, but the police too. Fortunately, as dull as the heroes are, the bad guys are great. Their leader, sexy foul-mouthed Abigail Bratowski (Sherry Jackson) is a machine-gun wielding psychopath who makes her entrance dressed in a nun's habit. Abigail's main enforcer is big William Watson, who looks like a sinister cartoon cheetah and seems to ad lib every single line he speaks. One of the best things about this movie is its crazy split personality - one minute you're watching a wacky car chase scored to tinkling piano music, the next minute cops are getting riddled with bullet holes. The other great thing about this movie is its truly superior car action provided by such top professionals as the King of stunt drivers Carey Loftin and Austin's own Bobby Sargent, who will be in attendance to give you some background about STINGRAY. Be there! (Lars)

MOONLIGHTING WIVES

MAY 12, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. JOSEPH SARNO, 1966, 35MM, 86 MIN, NR

There are a number of important sexploitation auteurs, brave souls who carved out something special and wholly individual in the world of adult films. The best known of these are Russ Meyer, Radley Metzger, Doris Wishman and our dear friend Joe Sarno. Sarno's specialty is erotic psychodrama. Even when his budgets are limited to the point of absurdity, he manages to create situations that are complicated, kinky, exciting, vaguely absurd and often pretty hot. In many sexploitation movies the plot is a utility, a desultory device for moving the action from one set-piece to another. With Sarno, the plot serves to place each situation in a deeper stratum of intensity, until the final, usually taboo-shattering encounter provides the climax of the film. Such is the case with MOONLIGHTING WIVES, the story of a suburban prostitution ring that masquerades as a late-night secretary service. If you like Sarno, don't miss this rare screening. And if you don't know his work yet, it's time to start your education. (Lars)

THE LONG GOODBYE

MAY 19, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ROBERT ALTMAN, 1973, 35MM, 112 MIN, R

Any 1973 theatergoer who bought a ticket for THE LONG GOODBYE expecting a leisurely rehash of private-eye movie cliches was certainly disappointed and, I expect, outraged. This is not so much an adaptation of Raymond Chandler's novel (itself a challenge to the commercially expected norm); it's also a gloss and critique on the whole myth of the sardonic but not quite cynical investigator who makes reluctant swoops from his perch on the margin of society into the corrupt milieu of the criminal classes high and low. The great director Robert Altman is assisted by screenwriter Leigh Brackett, who had written the definitive Raymond Chandler adaptation 27 years earlier: THE BIG SLEEP. This would be among her last screen credits and it's a classic. In choosing his leading man, Altman made a characteristically perverse selection: Elliott Gould, who as a Jewish New Yorker could not help but seem an outsider in the classically constrained world of Chandler's LA. The period was also shifted to the contemporary '70s, though some anachronisms remain, not least Marlowe himself. Together, Altman, Brackett and Gould deconstruct, distend, disentangle and re-entangle all the archetypal constructs of America's favorite detective. Like the very best adaptations, it dispenses with many of the events of the book but manages to retain the spirit. It's a savagely funny movie with support from Sterling Hayden, Henry Gibson, scandal figure Nina Van Pallandt and baseball player Jim Bouton. Years later THE BIG LEBOSWKI mined much of the same territory, and the two films are of a piece. Hugely, gigantically, unreservedly recommended. (Lars)

SWEET SUGAR

MAY 26, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. MICHEL LEVESQUE, 1972, 35MM, 90 MIN, R

From the maker of WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS comes a Women In Prison movie like no other. This one takes place in the sugar cane fields of the Caribbean. The expected cargo of beautiful women arrives and is mistreated in the accepted way until a rebellion erupts more or less on schedule, as these things go. In these particulars, it is pretty much just another WIP movie. Where it goes off the rails is in the character of the island doctor. Dr. John, as he's known, conducts a bewildering assortment of experiments on the prisoners. In one he throws dozens of housecats, supposedly injected with an aggression serum, at them. The cat hurling scene is hilarious, as the unfortunate actresses try desperately to mimic terror and the even more unfortunate cats try to get away from the insane filmmakers. Star Phyllis Davis is much too beautiful and talented for this kind of movie but that's life in Hollywood, and I'm too amused to complain. Recent Alamo guest Stephanie Rothman was one of the writers of this film and her sense of humor shines right through. (Lars)

CONFESSIONS OF A POLICE CAPTAIN

JUNE 2, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. DAMIANO DAMIANI, 1971, 35MM, 101 MIN, R

Italian crime films of the '70s are an acquired taste, and happily many more people seem to be acquiring it. This is one of the genre's classics, written and directed by the great Damiano Damiani whose other films A BULLET FOR THE GENERAL and HOW TO KILL A JUDGE are similarly political in nature. Here Martin Balsam plays a police captain nearing retirement who has been unable to bring the worst criminals in his jurisdiction to justice by legal means. He teams up with young district attorney Franco Nero in an attempt to wade through the morass of official corruption and institutional putrescence, but all the while Balsam has his own means of working and his own dark secrets. The system is so rigged and so broken that even the most honest men end up crushed in its wheels. A gripping, violent, brilliantly enacted film that will rip your fucking heart out and eat it. Incredible. (Lars)

THE HITCHHIKERS

JUNE 9, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. FERD & BEVERLY SEBASTIAN, 1972, 35MM, 92 MIN, R

The delectable Misty Rowe, known fondly to some of us as one of the stars of the '70s hillbilly variety show HEE HAW, stars as a ripe young thing who gets tangled up with a Manson-family style band of bait-and-switch highway robbers. Unlucky drivers are enticed to stop by an abundant roadside display of feminine pulchritude, then relieved of their belongings and sent packing. Seems risky but then so is the stock market. There are lots of hippie songs about freedom and even a token biker named Rebel. Thankfully, Arkansas exploitation legends Ferd and Beverly Sebastian (GATOR BAIT, ROCKTOBER BLOOD) are at the helm and their easygoing, character-rich style is printed on every frame of film. I wish we could take the roof off the theater and watch this one under the stars like the drive-in audiences of the day, but I asked and we can't do that. (Lars)

GRASP OF THE LORELEI aka WHEN THE SCREAMING STOPS

JUNE 16, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. AMANDO DE OSSORIO, 1974, 35MM, 85 MIN, R

These European sexy horror movies of the '70s were sort of like a gift from God: an endless supply of beautiful actresses, healthy portions of surrealism and kitsch, all sewn up with an audacious sense of style and color. Logic went out the window (good riddance) and kinky cinephilia was the order of the day. THE LORELEI'S GRASP takes place in one of those ubiquitous "hot chicks only" boarding schools that seemed to pepper Europe in the '70s. Naked schoolgirls are being killed off at an alarming rate by a hideous beast with claws and green scales. The headmistress hires a greasy, polyester-clad macho man named Sigurd to track and kill the beast. Only the tiniest children and people with head injuries won't be able to figure out the identity of the monster. Could it be sexy Helga Line who wears a shiny green bikini and lives in an underground cave with her army of immortal bathing beauties? Yes. This movie has cheap gore, gratuitous nudity, great music, bad dubbing, and even a "fear flasher" to warn unusually sensitive audience members of impending unpleasantness. In other words: this movie is better than a crack milkshake. Don't miss! (Lars)

THE WILD ANGELS

JUNE 23, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ROGER CORMAN, 1966, 35MM, 93 MIN, R

Inspired by a photo in LIFE magazine of a garish Hell’s Angels funeral, Roger Corman set about revolutionizing American International Pictures with THE WILD ANGELS, which would go on to spawn the prolific biker genre of the 60’s & 70’s. Peter Fonda stars as brooding Angels chieftain Heavenly Blues. When his pal Loser (Bruce Dern) is shot by police, Blues attempts to bury him in a small town, but the locals resist, and a brawl ensues. Audiences and critics were alternately appalled and thrilled by the extensive drug use and violence, but beneath ANGELS’ leathery hide beats the heart of a Western, especially in its ruminations on personal freedom. The film helped boost the careers of co-writer Peter Bogdanovich, editor Monte Hellman, and gave Fonda the counterculture clout to later make EASY RIDER. Co-starring Nancy Sinatra (yes, that is an odd choice), the film is punctuated by the amazing fuzz-laden music of Davie Allan & The Arrows. (Lars & Kier-la Janisse)

PREACHERMAN

JUNE 30, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ALBERT T. VIOLA, 1971, 35MM, 87 MIN, R

One of the biggest regional drive-in hits ever, a movie that played the Carolinas and Georgia summer after summer for the better part of a decade. It’s a hicksploitation classic that deserves to be better known outside the stock-car circuit. Writer/Director Albert Viola plays Amos Huxley, a traveling preacher whose hankering for womenfolk, moonshine, and gambling (hereafter referred to as “the finer things in life”) keeps him on the move from one tiny dogwater hamlet to another, usually at the point of a double-barreled shotgun. This is pretty old-school stuff – Viola knows his Boccaccio, his Chaucer and especially his Moliere – but it works. It’s a very funny, very well made film, loaded with sex, sacrilege and good-natured depravity. (Lars)

March April 2010 Titles and Writeups

There are guests and then there are guests. GROUP MARRIAGE April 14, with writer/director Stephanie Rothman in person. You're welcome.

MAD DOG MORGAN with Filmmaker Phillipe Mora In Person!

MAR 3, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. PHILLIPE MORA, 1976, 35MM, 102 MIN, R

One of the key movies in the birth of the Australian film industry, MAD DOG MORGAN is as wild, free and untamed as the pioneer Australian settler turned outlaw it celebrates. Dan Morgan was a real-life figure, a desperado who roamed the bush, committing robberies, drinking rum, killing people at the slightest provocation and generally behaving like a maniac. It should tell you a little about the Australian national character that he's regarded as a sort of folk hero. Obviously not just any actor could play the role, so director Phillipe Mora brought in the only actor who could embody Morgan's peculiar brand of apeshit craziness - Dennis Hopper. Hopper was dead-on perfect for Morgan but, unfortunately for the sanity of the cast and crew, he was also a committed method actor who insisted on getting into the role by drinking at least as much rum as the real Morgan and carrying loaded weapons everywhere. At one point during the shoot Hopper drunkenly took off in a car to visit the real Morgan's grave. He was picked up in the state of Victoria for drunken driving. When his blood alcohol content was measured he was declared legally dead. His producers got him out of jail but he was forbidden by the court to drive or even to be a passenger in a car in the territory! We are honored to welcome director Phillipe Mora to the Ritz to tell us more about this film and the bizarre circumstances surrounding its making. (Lars)

DR TARR'S TORTURE DUNGEON

MAR 10, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. JUAN LOPEZ MOCTEZUMA, 1973, 35MM, 88 MIN, R

If the experience of watching exploitation movies is like taking drugs, and it certainly is, then watching this movie is the celluloid equivalent of having a polar bear-sized dose of PCP injected directly into your brainstem with an industrial strength compressed air gun. If this sounds like a bunch of exaggerated fanciful talk to you then you haven’t seen DR. TARR’S TORTURE DUNGEON. Based on Poe’s “The System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether”, it’s an amazingly baroque, surreal Mexican exploitation film about a vast, isolated asylum that has been taken over by its inmates. The film glides from one absurd, outlandish tableau to another with the logic and pace of an opium dream. Though it was considered too exploitative for arthouses and too artsy for grindhouses at the time of its release, we are happy to give this film the audience it deserves. Note: if you don't like horrifying shrieking chicken women, do us all a favor - STAY HOME! (Lars)

NO WEIRD WEDNESDAY MARCH 17 - SXSW

PRETTY MAIDS ALL IN A ROW

MAR 24, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ROGER VADIM, 1971, 35MM, 98 MIN, R

From director Roger Vadim (BARBARELLA) and writer Gene Roddenberry (creator of Star Trek) comes a surprisingly dark, funny, sweet film, saturated with the golden light, color and sexiness of '70s California. Plot-wise, it's a murder mystery - beautiful young girls are turning up dead, the cops (led by Telly Savalas) are investigating, the football coach (Rock Hudson, who's great here) is a suspect. Interwoven is the story of a sexually frustrated male student's dalliance with his hot teacher Angie Dickinson. The story is well structured, the actors are top notch, but what makes this film really special is the French director's merciless insight into American social mores. He also captures some of the poetry of sexual desire in a way that few, if any, American directors can. A real, undeservedly obscure classic. (Lars)

DARKER THAN AMBER

MAR 31, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ROBERT CLOUSE, 1970, 35MM, 96 MIN, R

In the 60s and 70s a typical newsstand would feature rows of cheap, colorful paperback novels. There were tons of romances both contemporary and gothic for the women. And for the men there was "man-pulp," detective and adventure novels featuring lone-wolf alpha-dog heroes who typically travelled to exotic locations, engaging in fistfights, copulating freely with green-eyed lovelies and generally avoiding messy entanglements. Man-pulp was eventually usurped by espionage and military techno-thrillers for the few men who still read recreationally. DARKER THAN AMBER, based on a novel by John D. MacDonald, is one of the best man-pulp movies. The book is one of the long running and very popular Travis McGee series. McGee is a kind of proto-dropout "knight errant" who lives on a houseboat and could only be coerced into action by the death of a friend, a large sum of money or the pretty persuasion of a mini-skirted young lass in trouble. This movie captures the feel of man-pulp to a T. You can almost hear the pages turning. With Rod Taylor, Suzy Kendall and, most memorably, biker movie great William Smith who damn near rips Taylor's arm off in the climactic fight scene. This movie so impressed Bruce Lee that he insisted on director Clouse for his American debut ENTER THE DRAGON. (Lars)

SUPER FUZZ

APR 7, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. SERGIO CORBUCCI, 1980, 35MM, 97 MIN, PG

Outrageously stupid dubbed Italian comedy about policeman David Speed, played by comedy spaghetti western icon Terence Hill, who stands a little too close to an exploding nuclear missile. Just as in real life, the exposure to devastating atomic shockwaves and high levels of radioactive plutonium gives him super powers. He has telepathy, telekinesis, he can catch bullets in his teeth, jump through walls, fall from great heights with no consequences, walk on water, stop time and pretty much do anything else that's convenient for the plot. But his powers don't always work, which leads to some wacky complications - you're going to LOVE those wacky complications. With Ernest Borgnine as his by-the-book partner, who just gets all steamed up when Officer Dave won't follow the rules. This movie is dumb, but are you really all that smart? I mean, come on. (Lars)

GROUP MARRIAGE with Filmmaker Stephanie Rothman in Person!

APR 14, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. STEPHANIE ROTHMAN, 1973, 35MM, 85 MIN, R

From the maker of THE VELVET VAMPIRE and TERMINAL ISLAND comes a story of the liberated love generation. If it sounds like BOB AND CAROL AND TED AND ALICE, it is - but only just a little. There's a more immediate street-level feel to the film. For the super-low budget New World Pictures, the time between idea and screen was pretty brief, so the social commentary contained in these movies was still piping hot by the time it reached audiences. And Rothman was a magnificent message-smuggler - it's fascinating to see how feminine the viewpoint of the film is - and it what surprising ways this pleasing difference makes itself known. Rothman's TERMINAL ISLAND was about male/female partnership under strain from the outside. In GROUP MARRIAGE the conflict comes from within. It's pretty amazing to look back at these movies with their anarcho-communal message and realize that they played for every Jim-Bob who went to the drive in to see some skin. It's a brilliant way to sugar coat an agit-prop message that most viewers would never have swallowed otherwise. Isn't it time to bring Stephanie Rothman back into films and make her a four-star general in the culture wars for the good guys (and gals)? Featuring Claudia Jennings and some of the best bumper stickers in the history of cinema. (Lars) Make it a double feature with Stephanie Rothman's THE STUDENT NURSES, screening earlier. See below for details.

NINJA TURF

APR 21, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. WOO-SANG PARK, 1985, 35MM, 85 MIN, R

As the trailer says: "From the orient comes the attacker! The ninja has come to the city of night, where dreams become nightmares... where violence rules... where hope becomes despair. This is... NINJA TURF! A killer's paradise, ripoffs, a double cross that boomerangs, $800,000 in stolen money. Don't cross the Ninja, against anyone, against all odds. To the man they call the avenger, mercy is a dirty word. The one movie that breaks all the rules, defies all the conventions. The movie that kicks you in the FACE! NINJA TURF! Cross him - you're finished. Step on him, he'll bury you. See it at your own risk. NINJA TURF - it ain't no music video!" All of the above words are 1,000,000% true. This movie does break all the rules, like that rule that said all high school students have to be under the age of 35: SHATTERED. The rule that states that characters in a film should act and speak like actual human beings: DEMOLISHED. You know that other dumb rule about how a movie with the word "ninja" in the title should contain at least one ninja: REVOKED. And while NINJA TURF "ain't no music video", it does have one thing in common with a music video: there's only one damn song in the whole movie, and you'll get to hear it over 300 times! Mercy is a dirty word! So is FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK! That's what you'll be saying after you get kicked in the face by NINJA TURF! (Lars)

THE CHEERLEADERS

APR 28, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. PAUL GLICKLER, 1973, 35MM, 84 MIN, R

Subversive sex comedy that depicts a surreal, absurd society in microcosm within a suburban California high school. The cheerleaders and football team are like an aristocracy withing the school. When one of the cheerleaders gets pregnant, the squad recruits an innocent new member (played by the lilting, sumptuous Stephanie Fondue) with only one provision: she must remain a virgin. The problem is, the comely new girl wants to become a cheerleader for the express purpose of getting laid. Something has got to give! Featuring that old stand-by of cheerleader movies, a plan to exhaust the opposing team by fucking them silly. Does that kind of stuff really happen? It's OK, you can tell me. (Lars)

Also, don't miss this very special presentation:

THE STUDENT NURSES with Filmmaker Stephanie Rothman in Person!

APR 14, 9:45pm, DIR. STEPHANIE ROTHMAN, 1970, 35MM, 89 MIN, R

This is a jaw-dropping social, cultural and political document about contemporary attitudes toward medical ethics. Oh, and there are sexy nurses too, you can't have one without the other. Like many films produced by Roger Corman's New World pictures it's kind of an ideological trojan horse. Men who were lured in by the sight of four doe-eyed young nurses on the poster ended up receiving a massive injection of social awareness courtesy of Dr. Stephanie Rothman, one of the few women working as a writer and director in the 1970's. While the novelty of a female working in what was perceived as a man's game has interest for us, her gender isn't even the most interesting aspect of Rothman's films - it's a sensitivity to all her characters, of both genders - her conflicts are always human, never schematic. This film is structured like a soap opera with several character arcs dramatically intersecting as we peek in on the day to day trials and tribulations of a group of student nurses. Rothman and company touch on themes that are still controversial today -- abortion, euthanasia, inequality of health care and more. The left-wing stance might seem strident if the film weren't so entertaining on its own terms. You'll enjoy it so much you won't even noticed you've been radicalized. (Lars) Buy your ticket for THE STUDENT NURSES and keep your seat for GROUP MARRIAGE at midnight at no extra charge.

January February Weird Wednesday Titles and Writeups

It's going to be the best January and February ever! Celebrate Black History Month with BLACK CAESAR and don't forget to bring your sweetie to CRY OF A PROSTITUTE on Valentine's week.

POOR PRETTY EDDIE
JAN 6, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. CHRIS ROBINSON, 1975, 35MM, 92 MIN, R
Everyone who sees this stunning, brain-scraping masterpiece is amazed by it. It tells the story of Liz Weatherly, a famous African American singer played by Leslie Uggams, who sets out on a drive through Georgia to get away from it all. When her car breaks down in a rural area she gets a room at the only hotel in the area. The innkeeper, played by maniacal method actress Shelley Winters, keeps a tenuous hold on her much younger, handsome but evil country singer boyfriend Eddie. Within five minutes of her arrival, he's making advances to Liz and things go way downhill from there. When Liz tries to escape, her way is blocked and the local populace turns from creepy to unbearably horrifying. Directed by Chris Robinson and David Worth but the real MVP is editor Frank Mazzola (who also edited PERFORMANCE and DEMON SEED). He should have won at least an Oscar, and maybe even the Nobel Prize. With Slim Pickens, Dub Taylor and Ted (Lurch) Cassidy. One of the best movies of the '70s or ever. A truly unforgettable experience. AKA REDNECK COUNTY RAPE! (Lars)

KILL SQUAD
JAN 13, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. PATRICK DONAHUE, 1982, 35MM, 85 MIN, R
"12 Hands. 12 Feet. 12 Reasons To Die!" OK, so no prizes for originality in this movie about a group of veterans who get the old platoon back together to come to the aid of their sarge, who's been scammed out of all his money and crippled by bad guy Cameron Mitchell. It's one of the basic templates for shitty action movies. But the whole thing is so cheap and strange that it powers ahead of the pack and becomes really good and even oddly exciting. One of my favorite things about KILL SQUAD is that everybody knows martial arts - a little. They're all probably like green belts, but they're so happy to be in a karate movie that the whole thing has a kind of 'kids playing in the back yard' enthusiasm. So gather up all your friends; the black guy, the Asian guy, the muscleman, the other black guy and the guy with the beard; and come get some KILL SQUAD. (Lars)

LORD LOVE A DUCK
JAN 20, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. GEORGE AXELROD, 1966, 35MM, 105 MIN, NR
A quick glance at the marketing materials for LORD LOVE A DUCK would probably give the impression of another teen-appeal 60's beach party movie, but a closer look at the tagline, "An Act Of Pure Aggression" is sure to leave viewers confused. And sure enough, there's far more here than meets the eye. I'll just dive in. Roddy McDowall plays a sort of genie or guardian angel named Mollymauk, after a type of extinct bird. He magically appears to beautiful, mixed up cheerleader Tuesday Weld and offers to grant her wishes. They all come true - for instance she is cast in a movie called BIKINI WIDOW and lands the man of her dreams, but then they take a bad twist like the fingers on a monkey's paw. Along the way, every aspect of modern American society circa 1965 is bitterly ridiculed. And while such sitting targets as psychoanalysis, bikini beach movies and car culture weren't exactly sacred cows even then, the machine-gun quality of the satire and the churning bile underneath the humor is notable. Writer/director George Axelrod described it as "a non-optimistic get well card. LORD LOVE A DUCK is against teenagers, their parents, movies, cars, school and several hundred other things." The cast is brilliant, with Tuesday Weld in particular giving the performance of a lifetime. Also with Lola Albright and the great Ruth Gordon. (Lars)

LUNCH WAGON
JAN 27, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ERNEST PINTOFF, 1980, 35MM, 88 MIN, R
In 1980, fun was still a living, breathing thing - Sigh. This movie is the proof. When a trio of ridiculously attractive young women inherit a food cart they find themselves in a clash with a rival mob-controlled roach coach that's a front for gold thieves. LUNCH WAGON is a wild, cheap, anarchic explosion of pure fun. Roseanne Katon (THE MUTHERS) stars with her fellow Playboy playmate Pamela Jean Bryant and statuesque amazon Candy Moore (the model for the Cars' "Candy-O" album cover) as the lovable small business owners who prevail against the bumbling gangsters. The whole movie has the vivacious silliness of a silent Mack Sennett comedy; some gags work, some don't, but they keep flying at you and the good-natured vulgarity of the humor will win you over. Featuring the band Missing Persons (you'll get to hear their song "Mental Hopscotch" a LOT). The director was an Academy Award winner! So it must be good, right? Be there! (Lars)

BLACK CAESAR
FEB 3, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. LARRY COHEN, 1973, 35MM, 87 MIN, R
When writer/director Larry Cohen and star Fred Williamson set out to make a blaxploitation gangster movie they could scarcely have known how successful the fusion of genres would be. The fused figure of mobster and black avenger has become a cultural touchstone and echoes of BLACK CAESAR still resonate loudly today, especially in the indulgent crime fantasies of gangster rap. But even today, Fred Williamson's character Tommy Gibbs stands tall as the coolest mob boss of them all. BLACK CAESAR is a classical tragedy played out on the streets of Harlem, with Williamson bringing the swagger of James Cagney to the story of a kid with a chip on his shoulder who rises to the top of the heap to take the reins of his neighborhood crime syndicate, only to reach just a little bit too far. Williamson exudes pride and swagger - he has the magnetism of a great screen star - and he's a good enough actor to bring off the sufferings of a man who could rule the world but can't convince his mother to take his ill-gotten money. With a ridiculously brilliant score by James Brown, including the theme song "Down & Out In New York City". If you miss this, you're dumber than you look. (Lars)

CRY OF A PROSTITUTE
FEB 10, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ANDREA BIANCHI, 1974, 35MM, 97 MIN, R
American tough guy Henry Silva carved out quite a career in Italian crime films. His inscrutable, masklike face could suggest a gamut of emotions from rage to merciless psychosis. Here he adds another portrait to his gallery of unstoppable super killers as Tony Aniante, a Sicilian thug trained in the efficient crime methods of the U.S. mafia. When rogue mobsters develop a new technique of smuggling heroin in the bodies of dead children, Silva is brought in by the syndicate to clean up. He insinuates himself into the households of two rival Sicilian capos, then waits for is opportunity. By the time the blood finally stops flowing, both families are crippled and Silva reveals his true motivation. If you think the plot has very little to do with crying prostitutes, you're correct. The title refers to the wife of one of the bosses, a former streetwalker from the Bronx played by the beautiful Barbara Bouchet. Her brutal mistreatment at the hands of Silva pretty much destroys any audience sympathy for him, but he doesn't seem to mind. He still kills everyone in sight and looks cooler than Chet Baker smoking menthol cigarettes in a red Ferrari. From the director of BURIAL GROUND, STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER and MALABIMBA: THE MALICIOUS WHORE. (Lars)

TERMINAL ISLAND
FEB 17, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. STEPHANIE ROTHMAN, 1973, 35MM, 88 MIN, R
"Where society dumps its human garbage!" At some indistinct point in the very near future, which looks suspiciously like the early '70s, America has outlawed capital punishment. So murderers are sent to a blockaded island to fend for themselves. A new Darwinian social order asserts itself and the few women on the island have a pretty rough go of it - until they decide to fight back. This is very likely the first women-in-prison movie directed by a woman, but it's hardly a chick-flick. Stephanie Rothman, like so many other talented people in the movie business, was given her start in films by the great Roger Corman, who certainly deserves a statue in Hollywood, albeit an inexpensive one. Her films, while every bit as sweaty and violent as those of her male counterparts, always contain fascinating touches of feminine insight. Featuring the glistening naked torsos of Phyllis Davis, Barbara Leigh and Marta "Lost In Space" Kristen. Plus, look for Tom Selleck as a coke-snorting doctor. (Lars)

DELINQUENT SCHOOLGIRLS
FEB 24, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. GREG CORATINO, 1975, 35MM, 89 MIN, R
Not just politically incorrect and inexpedient, this movie is wrong. We won't attempt any grand pronouncements about its great sociohistorical merit. There are no excuses offered. It's a movie about three violently insane criminals who escape from an asylum and take refuge in what turns out to be a reform school for girls. The three psychos, a failed nightclub impressionist, a muscular baseball player and a comically mincing homosexual, are funny in a "so unfunny it's funny" way and the actresses playing the students vary from somewhat competent to obvious cue-card readers. It's one of those movies that makes audiences ask afterwards, "was that a real movie?" Strange, stupid, oddly amusing, really a one of a kind piece. The three convicts are played by busy actor Michael Pataki, pioneering black stuntman Bob Minor and Stephen Stucker, the funny gay guy from the AIRPLANE movies. AKA CARNAL MADNESS, BAD GIRLS, THE SIZZLERS and SCRUBBERS 2. (Lars)

Oh, and just so you can get "Mental Hopscotch" stuck in your head even before you see LUNCH WAGON, here it is:

Interesting CONVENTION GIRLS post from Temple Of Schlock

If there's a better source of exploitation film ephemera than TEMPLE OF SCHLOCK, it must be on another planet somewhere.

Here's a transcribed article about Joseph Adler's CONVENTION GIRLS.

Enjoy. I'll be back next week.

What the shit?!

This is the actual Turkish poster for BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA! Unbelievable!

November December WW Titles and Writeups

FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE
NOV 4, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ROBERT ENDELSON, 1977, 35MM, 82 MIN, R
Supposedly, audiences who watched Dali and Bunuel’s 1929 film UN CHIEN ANDALOU actually rioted in the aisles. If that’s true, I wonder what happened in theaters that played this incredibly inflammatory masterpiece of race revenge. The crowds, black and white, must have torn the screens out and flipped over the popcorn machines like Detroit police cars. Even now the film is infuriating - three escaped convicts - a Latin, an Asian and a white supremacist (played by William Sanderson with intense energy) invade the middle class home of a black doctor and his family. As the siege wears on, the audience is given no relief. Sanderson and his cohorts do bad (REALLY bad) things and the hateful language and attitudes cross all limits of acceptability. And then the tables turn. The third act of the film is one of the most satisfying and morally ambivalent displays of pure payback ever devised. It’s primal. You’ll find it impossible not to cheer as the head of the family gets revenge on the racist scumbag and his cohorts. As uncomfortable a viewing experience as the first hour of FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE is - and oh boy, is it ever - the excitement and audience solidarity of the final half hour makes it all worthwhile. You may forget to breathe. A legendary film that cannot - must not - be missed. (Lars)

CONVENTION GIRLS
NOV 11, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. JOSEPH ADLER, 1978, 35MM, 80 MIN, R
On the surface this is one of those ‘70s ”group of girls” movies, inspired by the success of New World Pictures’ nursesploitation movies. There were tons of films that followed the day to day problems and concerns of a group of shapely nurses, cheerleaders, student teachers etc. Finally the interesting and talented Florida exploitation director Joseph Adler (SCREAM BABY SCREAM) got around to making one about the hookers who populate trade shows and industry functions. That’s the starting point, anyway. On a deeper level it’s about integrity and the pride of doing a good job. Rather than simply serving as a backdrop for sexploitative highjinks, the toy convention is at the core of the film. The hero of the piece is a dollmaker who refuses to sell out to a dark toy conglomerate, and it’s not hard to make the case that he’s like a film maker who does the best he can under every circumstance - like Adler himself. The story arcs that illustrate the central conflict of the film are tied together by the prostitutes who attend the convention and weave in and out of the various relationships. It’s a really good film, with more similarities to Altman than to the usual flesh pageants of the era. (Lars)

BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA
NOV 18, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. SAM PECKINPAH, 1974, 35MM, 112 MIN, R
“You two guys are definitely on my shit list” - Warren Oates. Sometime around the time this film was made, director Sam Peckinpah went completely insane, making this one of the few examples of that fleeting and wonderful thing - a truly psychotic work of art. The great Warren Oates stars as an American pianist wasting away in a Mexican whorehouse bar. When two leisure-suited bounty killers approach him looking for a pimp named Alfredo Garcia who has impregnated the teenage daughter of a powerful man, Benny asks around, finds out that Garcia is already dead and concocts a plan to dig up the corpse, remove the head and collect the reward. Along with his prostitute girlfriend, he hits the road on his doom-laden journey. As you might guess, all hopes are shattered and Oates ends up alone, carrying the rotting head of Alfredo Garcia in a bag across the desert as the killers pursue him. But like Peckinpah, he delivers. The reaction of El Jefe to Oates’ delivery of the head is pretty much exactly what the reaction at studio headquarters must have been when Peckinpah delivered this film. ‘70s existential malaise at its best! (Lars)

DR. DEATH, SEEKER OF SOULS
NOV 25, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. EDDIE SAETA, 1973, 35MM, 87 MIN, R
This dark, sick black comedy is almost totally unknown but it’s a classic waiting to be discovered. A man whose wife has died in a car accident broods over her death without relief. Finally he approaches a shady charlatan who dresses flamboyantly, calls himself Doctor Death and claims he has the power to bring the dead back to life. The grieving widower makes a deal with the “doctor” that he soon comes to regret. Things go from bad to worse to hopeless to brutal and it gets more ridiculous as it gets more awful. The excellent actor John Considine plays the velour-clad “mortality pimp” Doctor Death with real conviction. It’s a broad performance, but not exactly tongue-in-cheek. His full-blooded approach to the character turns what could be a pretty silly melodrama into something better. Most of the other performers go about their work with the lassitude of soap opera actors, which only sets off Considine’s fine work to better advantage. If your heart is as black and shrunken as mine, you won’t want to miss this. (Lars)

THE MIGHTY PEKING MAN
DEC 2, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. MENG HUA HO, 1977, 35MM, 90 MIN, PG
Holy mackerel! This cheap Hong Kong rip-off of KING KONG is totally out of control. If an all-star team of the best comedy writers of all time got together and wrote a script about a prehistoric ape man and a beautiful blonde jungle woman, it would be just like this movie - only not as funny. It’s hard to describe exactly what makes this such a joy - I think it’s partially the cultural disconnect between the Chinese filmmakers’ worldview and the end product, which is clearly designed for export to western markets. The parts just don’t snap together correctly. Scenes that would be mild cliches in an American film become towering comic set-pieces here. Witness the scene in which Chinese tough guy Danny Lee and wild-girl Evelyn Kraft frolic together with her pet leopard. I think I see what they were going for, but the result is so, so much more. I’ve never been so close to throwing up from laughter as when I first saw this film. You should totally watch it! From the director of OILY MANIAC and THE RAPE AFTER. (Lars)

PART TIME WIFE
DEC 9, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. ARTHUR MARKS, 1975, 35MM, 90 MIN, R
Some of the best, most vigorous and intelligent films of the drive-in era came from writer/producer/director Arthur Marks. Unlike some of his contemporaries, Marks was careful not to insult his audience. He probably could have gotten away with much less and still scored at the box office. But he gilded his action thrillers, sexy melodramas and blaxploitation movies with little grace notes and winks at the discriminating film-goer. We’ll always be grateful to him for BONNIE’S KIDS, THE ROOMMATES, J.D.’s REVENGE, FRIDAY FOSTER and others. This rarity stars the great Keenan Wynn as a rich patriarch who returns from Las Vegas to his family home with a glamorous new wife in tow. Not surprisingly, she’s a ho - and Wynn’s two sons (Andrew Robinson and Peter Hooten) are soon involved in a pitched contest with each other and with their pop over the sexy trophy wife. Made during Marks’ busiest period, we’re eager to see how down and dirty it gets. (Lars)

THE SILENT PARTNER
DEC 16, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. DARYL DUKE, 1978, 35MM, 106 MIN, R
Movie production and distribution is a shady netherworld. The money for films has come from every quarter, from international prostitution and blackmail to Nazi gold. But the most frequently used extra-revenue stream was and is, government subsidies and tax shelters. In the ‘70s, Canada had a whopper of a shell game going. Producers were able to make films in Canada and, through a system of write-offs and reporting irregularities, they could turn a profit even on unsuccessful product. The resulting films, international coproductions mostly, are now known fondly as Canuxploitation movies. Not all Canuxploitation films were tax dodges, but many were. I’m not 100% sure about THE SILENT PARTNER, and I don’t much care, because whatever the circumstances of its creation, it is one of the best movies of the ‘70s. Elliott Gould stars as a bank teller who spies a way to steal a lot of money from his till and get away with it. The problem with his plan is that he antagonizes a real bank robber, who’s also a real mean dude (played brilliantly by Christopher Plummer). Plummer, who has cased and robbed the bank in the guise of a department store Santa, puts the pieces together fairly quickly and starts to make Gould’s life a living hell. But Gould, a chess enthusiast with a mind for strategy, counters every move. Soon the two man are involved in a real life game with their lives and freedom at stake. The tension ratchets up to an unbearable intensity before the sublime conclusion. Written by Curtis Hanson and directed by Daryl Duke (PAYDAY). With large Canadian funnyman John Candy in a small role. (Lars)

THE MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE
DEC 23, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. RICHARD PARISH, 1964, 35MM, 60 MIN, G
Special seasonal reprise of the Christmas-killing hit! Here it is: the evil holiday movie we’ve all secretly been waiting for. It made its producers wealthy men and turned a generation of children into santaphobic sociopaths. We are still paying the cost. It’s a very strange film and we’re not sure why anyone would make it, but two words come to mind: Malicious Intent. Why else would the young hero be abducted by a witch and forced to uh, plant Satan’s magic seed in his backyard? The seed grows into a tree that gives him three wishes. Then the kid abducts Santa Claus, straps him to a chair and abuses him until he gets all the toys in the world. Plus there’s a long race between a lawnmower and a turtle and more tomfoolery presided over by the powers of Darkness, including the appearance of a giant who says inappropriate things. We cannot be held responsible for any lasting trauma. (Lars)

POLK COUNTY POT PLANE
DEC 30, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. JIM WEST, 1977, 35MM, 90 MIN, PG
Special “High For The Holidays” edition of Weird Wednesday. How hard could it be to make a movie? That’s what a bunch of state legislators from Polk County, Georgia thought. So they cracked open their piggy banks and made this mind-numbingly inept “action” movie based on a true occurrence in the legendary annals of Polk County history. Not only are the real dope traffickers, Oosh and Doosh (really!), making their screen debuts, unable to convincingly portray hardboiled drug smugglers (they seem like big kids with porn ‘staches), they seem genuinely unable to convincingly portray human beings at all. No matter. If this movie was one-tenth as much fun to make as it is to watch then they all had a blast. Featuring some truly harrowing stunts and the slowly encroaching charm of Oosh and Doosh, which becomes irresistible by film’s end. A legendary motion picture you’ll remember forever. (Lars)