Coming to Weird Wednesday in May and June!

In Lycanthroscope! MAY 18!

THE LOVE BUTCHER

Dirs. Donald M. Jones & Mikel Angel, 1975, 85 min, R, 35mm

RZ 5/4

“I am Lester! And I am ALIVE!” Uncut, pure insanity. A totally unknown actor named Erik Stern gives the performance of a lifetime as Caleb, a nearsighted, hunchbacked gardener who silently absorbs the abuse of his female clients by day, then returns at night as his handsome “brother” Lester to seduce and kill them. Without Stern’s go-for-the-throat magnificence in the dual role, this would be a fairly tired exercise in misogyny and warmed-over Hitchcock, but Stern totally redeems the material. For whatever reason, this was his Moment. The great spotlight of destiny shone on him just this one time and he rose to the occasion like a champion. You won’t believe your eyes and ears as Stern/Lester puts on different disguises, with corresponding accents, to get close to his prey. Witness Lester as a Puerto Rican door-to-door record salesman (he describes one LP as “a real gasolino”), a Texas cowboy, and a naughty British plumber. Stern does it all except pop the popcorn. (Lars)

COP KILLERS

DIR. WALTER CICHY, 1973, 93 min, R, 35MM

RZ 5/11

Nihilist whitesploitation from the makers of FLESH GORDON. This movie was apparently intended to be a Peckinpah-esque existential ballet of bullets and bloodshed and while it doesn’t succeed exactly, it creates its own world of pain and psychosis. The plot concerns a pair of drug middlemen who won’t let anyone stand in their way as they move a shipment of cocaine through the desert. Not only do they kill many cops, they also badly mistreat an ice cream vendor. Along the way they abduct an innocent girl, rant, destroy a bunch of stuff and even provide a quick and instructive tutorial on how to snort coke. This one’s pretty special. A little sunbaked slice of hell, just for you. (Lars)

WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS

Dir. Michel Levesque, 1971, 85 min, R, 35mm

RZ 5/18

In the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, filmmakers could pretty much assume that their audiences were just as ripped out of their minds on dangerous drugs as they themselves were. This accounted for some pretty strange movies. But nothing you've seen can prepare you for the classic WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS. It’s equal parts Antonioni and Famous Monsters Of Filmland. And not only does this movie have werewolves and bikers (the motorcycle gang is called The Devil's Advocates!), it also has satanic monks, a snake dance, tons of improvised dialogue, some of the craziest, greatest music ever and, best of all, some incredible, death-defying stunts. In fact, one really gets the impression that the stunt-men took over the production midway to stage some sort of drugged-out festival of danger. I don't know what was going on in these stuntmen's lives but they seem totally indifferent to death. There are a couple of scenes where a burning stuntman runs around for like three or four minutes, being consumed by ten foot flames. Now that's commitment to the arts! (Lars)

TRADER HORNEE

Dir. Jonathan Lucas, 1970, 84 min, X, 35mm

RZ 5/25

The late, great producer/writer David F. Friedman, who died earlier this year, was a true legend of showmanship. He was the standard bearer and keeper of the torch of classic exploitation films. Though he ground out cheap films designed to play for one week and vanish from town in a haze of disrepute, he was always mindful of the need to have fun. TRADER HORNEE (the E’s are silent, by the way), is a skin-flick, of course, but it’s also a very funny, juvenile comedy in the mold of classic Mad Magazine. It’s a parody of jungle films, the once-popular sub-genre of adventure films that brought us the likes of Tarzan and Jungle Jim. Customarily in these imperialist fables, a white child is lost in the wilds of deepest Africa and grows up to become the ruler of the superstitious natives. Here the casual racism of these movies is lampooned by jive talking, watermelon-eating natives who do song and dance routines. You won’t believe it. Terrible jokes fly at you relentlessly until you have no defense against them and are forced to laugh, just to keep from crying. (Lars)

SHOOT

Dir. Harvey Hart, 1976, 99 min, R, 35mm

RZ 6/1

In the golden days of the ‘70s there was a whole film industry in Canada based around government incentives and tax shelters; we know it now as the Canucksploitation era. Through some difficult to understand financial mechanism, outside investors put funds into Canadian productions that were sure to lose money and they benefited from it somehow. I didn’t say I understood it, but there’s no doubt that some extremely obtuse and unmarketable films were made around that time, and this is one of the best. A bunch of 50-ish National Guardsmen and war veterans (among them Cliff Robertson, Henri Silva and Ernest Borgnine), all upstanding pillars of their small town community, go on a hunting trip together. They encounter another group of hunters in the forest and are fired upon unexpectedly. They shoot back and kill one of the rogue hunters. When they return home, their daily lives are turned asunder by paranoia, strife and the reawakened primeval bloodlust that lurks in all men’s souls. The only thing that will make their lives normal again is more killing. This movie is tremendously strange. It must have alienated every audience member who bought a ticket to see it, as it’s mainly just a bunch of brooding, intense scenes of macho middle aged men sweating, shooting guns and talking about killing. This is not for everyone, but it fits my tastes like Canada fits atop America - as its jaunty, perplexing hat. (Lars)

CAT MURKIL AND THE SILKS

Dir. John A. Bushelman, 1976, 102 min, R, 35mm

RZ 6/8

A really gritty, nasty juvenile delinquency docudrama that cuts like a switchblade. A jarring film in a lot of ways, it’s also one of the most entertaining movies in the genre. It takes place in and around one of those southern California high schools that are so familiar from a million T&A comedies, and the soundtrack is reminiscent of yacht rock, but when the violence and brutality start - school’s out! There’s a hand-wringing veneer of social concern here but unlike a lot of other movies that address teenage crime there’s no pretense that these kids are merely misunderstood, tarnished little angels who need a spanking and/or hug. No - these teenagers are demons who have escaped from Hell and set up shop in Santa Monica. With great, letter-perfect dialogue and a killer twist ending. (Lars)

HOOCH

Dir. Edward Mann, 1977, 96 min, PG, 35mm

RZ 6/15

Here’s a regional North Carolina moonshine movie that, by all rights, shouldn’t be any good at all but amazingly it works. Gil Gerard, later famous as TV’s Buck Rogers, plays a good old boy who loves the high-life, or what passes for it in his backwoods town. When he begins distributing moonshine, it stirs up trouble with the local godfather, who brings in a trio of New York mob enforcers led by Danny Aiello to put Gil out of business. There’s your plot. It’s nothing special. But there’s a perverse sense of humor at the heart of this film. Writer/director Edward Mann was no dummy. He had a long background writing comic strips and directing theater. The gags he sets up are of a high quality and the film has a lighthearted charm that’s never insulting or treacly. It’s just pure hicksploitation goodness from beginning to end. (Lars)

DELIVER US FROM EVIL

DIR. HORACE JACKSON, 1977, 96 min, PG, 35MM

RZ 6/22

Part of the joy of Weird Wednesday is the thrill of uncovering little known exploitation auteurs. A good example of a director who developed his own unusual style in the golden age of the ‘70s is Horace Jackson, whose movies are bitter, declamatory social tracts about life in the ghetto. They’re all essential viewing for fans of yelling. This film has the guts to take a stand against the kind of dope-pushers who stand around outside elementary schools and hook 7-year-olds on dangerous drugs. The hero is a recovering psychotic who teams up with a committed teacher and a cute kid in a wheelchair to take on the neighborhood menace. It’s all played very seriously and earnestly but inevitably the ridiculousness seeps in around the edges and reaches critical mass before you know it. (Lars)

GIRLS AT THE GYNECOLOGIST

Dir. Ernst Hofbauer, 1971, 95 min, X, 35mm

RZ 6/29

What do you expect us to do, NOT play this? While it may sound particularly harrowing and clinical based on that title, this is another one of that endless “sex report” series from Germany, and like all of them it’s actually pretty tame. These films masqueraded as socially responsible exposes about the issues of the day, but were of course just excuses to show sex and nudity. Here the framing device is a gynecologist’s stories about his clients and their wacky vaginae. If you find sexism and rampant bad taste amusing - and we do - this ought to stirrup a few laughs. Sorry! (Lars)

Weird Wednesday - New Titles and Writeups

TROUBLE MAN, How's this for a still?

Amazingly, it's our 10th Anniversary. I can scarcely believe it. In this calendar we'll have some old favorites as well as some super-strong movies you've likely never seen before. Also, my long dream of showing THE ROAD TO SALINA is about to come true.

SNAKES aka FANGS aka HOLY WEDNESDAY

Mar 2, Ritz, Dir. Art Names, 1974, R, 83 min, 35mm

To celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Weird Wednesday, we are bringing back the ultimate Weird Wednesday movie. In the words of Snakey Bender, "Nobody messes with my Wednesdays!"

Total madness! This is an exceedingly odd rural snake-revenge movie that's oh so much more. A seemingly harmless old kook named Snakey (Les Tremayne) operates a reptile farm on the outskirts of a small town. As usual in movies of this type, he is pushed over the edge by a series of outrages and he kills off half the town with his snakes. Sounds commonplace, but it’s not. What makes SNAKES extra special is all the perverse little sick touches. For example, the prim local schoolmarm uses Snakey as a reptile pimp for her sick sex thrills, the brother and sister grocers seem to have an incestuous relationship, Snakey likes to strip his victims down to their underwear and best of all, John Philip Sousa marches blare throughout the movie like some sort of demented leitmotif. But the thing that pushes this into heaven territory is Snakey's habit of ranting about Wednesday. It seems that Snakey's favorite day is Wednesday and if you mess with Snakey, it had better be on one of the other six days of the week. See it for yourself if you don't believe me. It's incredible! (Lars)

TROUBLE MAN

Mar 9, Ritz, Dir. Ivan Dixon, 1972, R, 99 min, 35mm

This is a superlative blaxploitation film. Most of the black action films of this era were either low-budget wonders with a lot of heart or bloodless studio efforts dressed up with a little velour and chrome. TROUBLE MAN combines the professional polish of the latter with the solid legitimacy of the former. The brilliant stage actor Robert Hooks plays Mr. T, a sort of black godfather who holds court in his pool hall as a combination President, Pope and Chief Fixer. Though blessed with looks, intelligence and tremendous wealth, his most notable feature is his supernatural coolness. When something needs to get done--say, a slumlord needs to be chastened, or a sum of money recovered, or a double-crossing chump slaughtered in his penthouse--T gets it done without raising an eyebrow. Director Ivan Dixon, like Hooks, had been a color-line breaking pioneer in the theater, film and television, and his style is as sharp and clean as the crease in T’s slacks. With Paul Winfield, Julius Harris and Ralph Waite. The soundtrack by Marvin Gaye is a work of absolute, undeniable genius. (Lars)

BMX BANDITS

Mar 23, Ritz, Dir. Brian Trenchard-Smith, 1983, PG, 88 min, 35mm

Director Brian Trenchard-Smith has been turning out low budget films for a lot longer than most Weird Wednesday attendees have been alive. He has worked in nearly every genre, created a few genres of his own and always managed to put forth at least a solid product. In fact, the mantle of professional competence rests so easily on his brow that he usually has time to give us a little something more than we expect. So this PG-rated kids film featuring Nicole Kidman in her first role is somehow more than the sum of its parts. Bike chases that would normally be done in paint-by-numbers style by bored hacks emerge as pure cinema as Trenchard-Smith applies the techniques and experience he’d honed to perfection in such ragers as THE MAN FROM HONG KONG and STUNT ROCK. Of course it’s silly--it’s about three kids who find a case of stolen walkie talkies and enlist the aid of Sydney’s BMX community to fight the mob--but it has a kind of tough sweetness too. The material with the young heroes is never condescending (Kidman in particular is excellent) and the action sequences have the ramshackle chaotic energy of the silent cinema. That’s a compliment. (Lars) Special thanks to Severin Films for making this screening possible. We'll be giving away copies of their new Blu-Ray/DVD edition of BMX Bandits to a few lucky audience members.

BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS

Mar 30, Ritz, Dir. Andy Milligan, 1970, R, 79 min, 35mm

Andy Milligan made films cheaper than anybody else before or since. He delivered 35mm feature films (blown up from 16mm) on budgets of under $10,000 apiece. At those prices a distributor didn't have to wait very long to start turning a profit. So Milligan got a chance to make some of the strangest, most personal exploitation films of all time. He produced, wrote, shot, edited, directed and even made the costumes for all his movies. His casts consisted largely of prostitutes, drug addicts and other street people. Whatever bad things might be said about Andy Milligan's films, they all come straight from the heart. And Andy Milligan's heart was a tiny, black, malformed thing that pumped hate instead of blood. His movies are venomous parcels of filth, made by a miserable person and depicting the continuing adventures of hateful people whose entire reason for living is to make others suffer. Milligan's characters can barely get through a simple expository scene without bickering and ranting. This relentlessly misanthropic outlook makes Milligan's films sublimely entertaining to people with a very dark and depraved sense of humor. BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS is Milligan's version of the Sweeney Todd story - about a murderous barber who plies his trade with a straight razor. The blood and gore are plentiful but insignificant compared to the spiritual violence the characters inflict on one another. As Michael Weldon has famously written: "If you're an Andy Milligan fan, there's no hope for you." (Lars)

THE ROAD TO SALINA

Apr 6, Ritz, Dir. Georges Lautner, 1970, R, 96 min, 35mm

It’s a classic psycho-noir premise: drifter (Robert Walker Jr.) wanders into a rural Spanish cafe and finds himself mistaken for the prodigal son of a delusional widow (played by Rita Hayworth, no less.) While he can understand the mother’s will to believe, why does his “sister” (the unbearably luscious Mimsy Farmer) never bat an eye when her “brother” comes home. Most wanderers would pack their bags and move on when the true dementia of the little outpost became evident, but the home cooking and the (exceeding) closeness of the familial bonds conspire to water the seed of doom already lurking in our hero’s bosom. Unlike most noirs, which take place in a world of black and white and chiaroscuro, THE ROAD TO SALINA is bright and sunlit, full of brilliant organic life and bursting with sex. It treads the line between art and exploitation and finally makes the whole question of high and low seem frivolous. The brilliant freak-prog score by Clinic and Cristophe lends an air of desperate longing and madness to the film. One of my 3 or 4 favorite movies of all time. Period. (Lars)

THE SIX THOUSAND DOLLAR NIGGER

Apr 13, Ritz, Dir. Rene Martinez Jr., 1979, R, 80 min, 35mm

We can’t believe the title either. But that’s why they called him Wild Man Steve! We all love the late great Rudy Ray Moore but he wasn’t the only funny comedian working the black comedy circuit. Get ready to laugh your ass off at the equally great, equally late Wild Man Steve. The wi-i-i-ild man can say pretty much anything and make it funny. He has a slow, stoned delivery that makes even the stupidest dirty jokes gut-bustingly hilarious, like Bill Cosby after a head injury. Unbelievably, this is an actual WILD MAN STEVE STAR VEHICLE! It’s about a midget mad scientist (with a full-sized D-cup girlfriend) named Dr. Dippy who helps the mob develop a formula that makes users super-strong, bulletproof, and, after about two days, super-dead. Obviously it’s hard to get sensible people to sign up for this treatment, so the mobsters grab the nearest wino, played to perfection by our Mister Steve. Steve is beyond hilarious, ad-libbing like crazy, stepping all over his costars’ lines. He even gives a little speech in favor of legalizing pot that’s a small masterpiece of reason and logic. We’re still on the lookout for the sequel, AIN’T THAT JUST LIKE A HONKY? (Lars)

THE SAVAGE SEVEN

Apr 20, Ritz, Dir. Richard Rush, 1968, NR, 94 min, 35mm

When the biggest, baddest biker gang in the southwest moves into an Indian reservation, there’s going to be trouble. Director Richard Rush’s two biker movies, this one and HELLS ANGELS ON WHEELS, are the gold standard for biker gang movies. Rush’s working method seemed to be: work up a relatively simple plot, make sure the key scenes get covered, then turn the actors and stunt guys loose to improvise fights, motorcycle mayhem and character bits. Only the most judicious director could pull off such a strategy and not end up with a boring, chaotic mess. But Rush, with the help of his actors and stunt people, many of whom, in the time honored tradition of the western, were one and the same; gives us both dramatic tension and hell-raising good times. The hand-held camerawork by Laszlo Kovacs has the immediacy of documentary filmmaking, and many of the motorcycle stunts look like suicide attempts. With the true kings of biker movies, Adam Roarke, Robert Walker Jr., Penny Marshall, Max Julien, Larry Bishop, Chuck Bail, Duane Eddy, Bud Cardos and Austin’s own Gary Kent. (Lars)

GAME SHOW MODELS

Apr 27, Ritz, Dir. David N. Gottlieb, 1977, R, 88 min, 35mm

I suspect that we’ve all harbored the suspicion that beneath the plastic, phony exterior of the television game show there simmers a red-hot cauldron of S.E.X. Are we lucky enough to finally have a movie that takes us behind the glamour of a successful game show? Surely we’ll see the sexy casting process and find out what lurks under the toupee of that seemingly genial host (played by Roger Corman regular Dick Miller). Actually we won’t. GAME SHOW MODELS is a patch-job. It combines an unfinished American Film Institute funded movie called THE SEVENTH DWARF with nudity filled scenes of a raunchy fictional game show hosted by Miller. It’s plenty weird though. With soul singer Thelma Houston, film Critic Charles Champlin, Afro-Cuban jazz legend Willie Bobo, Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith and a lengthy mime interlude. Enjoy. (Lars)

I love this print inspection report

Thanks to projectionist Sara. This should give you an idea of the way most of these prints look by the time they've settled down with us.

I have left out the title of the film to protect the innocent, though needless to say I will be playing it anyway:

flat, mono, 4 enormous reels

This print is not in good condition. All reels are severely warped at the heads. It is extremely faded and very red in color. There is excessive splicing throughout; it is especially bad on reels 1 and 2. Reels 2 and 3 have a lot of perf damage and tears that have been repaired. There is some minor edge damage here and there. All reels are scratched, primarily toward the heads. Some of these scratches are deep/green. Additionally, there is some speckly emulsion damage in a few spots. None of the original heads and tails are still with the print and they all seem to be from various sources, some in other languages. Reel 5 looks as though it suffered an accident of some sort and consequently segments of this film may be missing. There's not really a way to check for incongruity without actually watching it through and it's certainly possible that it's only missing a few frames here and there. Some of the splices, however, connect different shots/scenes. There is a title card at the end that says "The End," which looks as though it was added as an afterthought.

Jan Feb 2011 Weird Wednesday Titles and Writeups

THE BLACK GESTAPO

JANUARY 5, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. LEE FROST, 1975, 35MM, 88 MIN, R

Two of the greatest names in the history of exploitation cinema are Lee Frost and Wes Bishop. Although they made sleazy actioners on minimal budgets, their taste, wit and discretion really shine through in the final product. Always a barrel of laughs but never (ugh) “campy”, they really deliver in the sex and violence department too. Movies like THE THING WITH TWO HEADS, POLICE WOMEN, RACE WITH THE DEVIL, and DIXIE DYNAMITE will never be taught in film school, but they thrill and delight moviegoers whenever they're shown. THE BLACK GESTAPO is about the fictional Black Peoples Party of Watts, formed to drive white gangsters out of the community, which makes for a lot of violence and great dialogue. But in an unexpected Hegelian twist, the commandante of the Party (played by easygoing Charles Robinson aka “Mac” of NIGHT COURT fame,) becomes power-mad and wreaks even more havoc until the powerful, politically incorrect ending scorches all traces of reason from your skull. (Lars)

GET MEAN
JANUARY 12 MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. FERDINANDO BALDI, 1976, 35MM, 84 MIN, NR

As the spaghetti western cycle reached its inevitable end in the 70's, the genre started getting weirder. Producers sought to prolong the formula by juicing it up with outside elements so audiences ended up with kung-fu westerns, sex westerns, many (bad) comedy westerns and this movie, about an American gunslinger who ends up fighting Vikings and Moors while trying to transport a Spanish Princess back to her rightful throne. The anachronisms are never explained or even alluded to. It's just a Spaghetti Western where the cigarillo-chomping man with no name wanders around medieval Europe fighting fur-clad barbarians with broadswords. Producer and star Tony Anthony was the last real Spaghetti Western star of the era. His other gimmick westerns included BLINDMAN, with Ringo Starr and COMIN' AT YA! in 3D. (Lars)

FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET
JANUARY 19, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. ANDY MILLIGAN, 1973, 35MM, 80 MIN, R

Of all the well-known “cult auteurs”, Andy Milligan is possibly the most problematic. His films lack any production polish whatsoever; the camera moves and shakes wildly, the sound is bad and the music is just cuts from his record collection, haphazardly mixed. But the most commercially difficult aspect of Milligan’s films is their unrelenting misanthropy. Each film is like a hate poem to some aspect of human nature. FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET is his final sexploitation feature and with it he completes his lifelong argument that sex is horrifying and degrading. As in all of his films, his grossly manipulative characters bicker endlessly and insult each other with special vehemence. Milligan himself was a walking colossus of hatred and bitterness, disliked and avoided by most of his peers but able to build a stock company of masochists who debased and degraded themselves onscreen for him. This is not for everyone but if you have a place in your shrunken heart for the blackest, darkest, most evil comedy in the world, this will move right in - and steal your TV set. (Lars)

CHARLEY VARRICK
JANUARY 26, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. DON SIEGEL, 1973, 35MM, 111 MIN, PG

Ever since we widened the scope of Weird Wednesday to include manly action and pulp films, we have presented such titans of testosterone as Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood. Now add Walter Matthau to the list. CHARLEY VARRICK is another of the great outlaw classics of the ‘70s and it’s impossible to imagine anyone better for the role of the titular bank robber than the pooch-faced, slouchy Matthau. Billing himself “The Last Of The Independents,” Charley Varrick robs rural banks for a living and keeps moving, until one heist goes wrong and Varrick accidentally ends up with the mob’s money. The syndicate dispatches tough guy Joe Don Baker to recover the loot and the chase is on. A lot of people die, but the crafty Varrick always manages to stay a step ahead. Director Don Siegel was the absolute master at this sort of thing and he keeps the tempo high, the characters real and the action popping. Not to be missed. (Lars)

PENITENTIARY
FEBRUARY 2, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. JAMAA FANAKA, 1979, 35MM, 99 MIN, R

The story of boxer "Too Sweet" (Leon Isaac Kennedy), whose only way out of lockdown is by winning the big fight. Highly plausible scenario? Of course not. Entertaining? Oh hell yeah. Director Jamaa Fanaka specializes in the smuggler's approach to socially relevant film-making. He'll sneak some serious shit past you like a jailhouse shiv while you're looking the other way. And this film, enjoyable though it may be, scores some heavy points even as it entertains. He presents a nightmarish microcosm of American society where prison is an omnipresent threat in the lives of African American males, and where sports and entertainment are viewed as the only means of escape. A gritty, highly entertaining movie, with tons of great dialogue you'll be quoting for weeks. (Lars)

VIGILANTE

with Director William Lustig Live!
FEBRUARY 9, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. WILLIAM LUSTIG, 1983, 35MM, 90 MIN, R

Unfairly dismissed as a DEATH WISH ripoff by people who never got past the title and poster, VIGILANTE is a tremendous, gritty masterpiece of revenge cinema. When factory worker Robert Forster’s family is victimized by street criminals, he pursues the legal route through the justice system. But when a corrupt court turns the perpetrators loose he teams up with Fred Williamson’s de facto clean-up crew to drive the scum from the streets. Far more than just a button-pushing exercise in payback, VIGILANTE addresses the real issues, both social and personal, involved in taking the law in our own hands and Forster and Williamson give outstanding performances under the direction of William Lustig. Balance, pacing, action are all perfect here. If the climax of this movie doesn’t have you pumping your fist in excitement, you should see a fist doctor right away. (Lars)

LOVE ME DEADLY
FEBRUARY 16, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. JAQUES LACERTE, 1973, 35MM, 95 MIN, R

Just in time for two days after Valentine’s Day! Finally a film that takes a sympathetic view of necrophilia. This film examines California blonde Mary Wilcox’s little corpse-fucking “problem”, as if it were an afterschool special about a teenager who takes too many diet pills or something. In this movie, she’s driven to join a cult of devil-worshipping necrophiliacs by the intolerance of a few bluenoses. And really, why can’t we have more compassion for those who break into mortuaries and hump our recently deceased loved ones? Maybe if we all get together and watch LOVE ME DEADLY we can get over our silly Victorian hangups about sex with the dead! (Lars)

BLACK COBRA
FEBRUARY 23, MIDNIGHT, $1

DIR. JOE D’AMATO, 1976, 35MM, 98 MIN, R

Every night before I lie down to sleep, I say my prayers. I thank God for the birds and the flowers and the morning dew and puppy dogs... But mostly I thank God -- at length -- for Laura Gemser, star of BLACK COBRA. Miss Gemser was positively heaven-sent for the sex-film explosion of the ‘70s: lithe, dark-skinned, with doe-eyes and movements as graceful as a lily in the breeze. She may well have been the most beautiful actress of the ‘70s -- period. But her career track led her to star in some of the most perverse films ever made. Her Black Emanuelle knockoff movies more than made up for in kink what they lacked in glossy production values. The director she collaborated with most fruitfully was Joe D’Amato, a filmmaker of sporadic brilliance whose talent really came to life with the addition of Gemser. BLACK COBRA is one of their best collaborations, and my personal favorite. Gemser plays a stripper with a python act who has a very strange effect on two brothers -- sleazy charmer (and her real life husband) Gabriele Tinti and the late, great Jack Palance, as a bizarre, ranting snake fetishist. With an ending that will leave you speechless. Music by Piero Umiliani. (Lars)

November December WW Titles here

BUMMER

NOV 3, $1, DIR. BILL CASTLEMAN, 1973, 35MM, 90 MIN, NR
Anyone who's spent any time at all around rock music knows one thing: bass players are the scum of the earth. Here's a movie with the courage to come out and say it. A small-time rock band with aspirations towards the big time is derailed by their psychotic four-stringer's crime spree. The electric bass may provide the bridge between the melody and the rhythm but if we have to put up with this sort of behavior we're better off without it! And this bassist is even worse than most. He's raping and killing all the groupies. A band this bad should be down on their knees thanking God every night for even having groupies at all, let alone groupies this hot. Fortunately Carol (ABBY: THE BLACK EXORCIST) Speed is on hand to take care of business in the explosive, double-barreled ending. Fuck Bass Players! (Lars)

CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE
NOV 10, $1, DIR. JOSEPH W. SARNO, 1974, 35MM, 105 MIN, NR
Nobody made adult movies like the late, great Joe Sarno. Starting in the mid-60’s, Sarno created his own unmistakable style of stylish, ultra-imaginative psychodramas. Regular Weird Wednesday viewers have seen some pretty over-the-top sex movies but there aren’t many sex movies that work on you like this one. Sarno, master of the kinky situation, concocts a whopper: a pair of swinging couples, neighbors; are dreading the arrival of their new houseguest, the attractive mother of one of the wild wives. They’ll all have to stay dressed and stop their round-the-clock boneathon... or will they? The attention Sarno pays to characterization and context really pays off. It’s an amazing experience that should not be missed. Bring a date, a raincoat, or both. (Lars)

IMPULSE with Director William Grefe Live!
NOV 17, $1, DIR WILLIAM GREFE, 1974, 35MM, 84 MIN, R
Director William Grefe will join us to tell us all about this all-time classic of Shatnersploitation. Certain stars loom so large in our personal mythology that we know them by one name. Think GARBO, BOGART, CAGNEY, and yes: SHATNER. A lot of people put down Shatner's acting but he's never boring to watch. Here he puts on an acting clinic, playing a murderous psychopath constantly on the verge of exploding. Shatner demonstrates fear, pain, dementia, demon rage -- the whole gamut of unsavory emotions, in his own inimitable Shatner way. It's always fun, when watching Shatner emote, to imagine that Captain Kirk has beamed into some sort of alternate reality. Here Kirk is transported into a metaphysical '70s South Florida, decked out in the finest polyester psycho-gear, and required to deal with a pulsing walnut-sized tumor throbbing against the aggression center of his brain. As you would expect, Shatner carries it off with all the wit and aplomb we expect from Our Greatest Living Actor. (Lars)

THUNDERBOLT & LIGHTFOOT
NOV 24, $1, DIR. MICHAEL CIMINO, 1974, 35MM, 114 MIN, R
At a time when he was the undisputed king of the silver screen, a box office draw beyond compare; Clint Eastwood began to strike off on his own and use his box-office clout to get some pretty daring and personal films made. But no one could have expected this bizarre buddy film featuring Eastwood as an expert in military armament who teams up with a wild young fuck-up (Jeff Bridges) to commit crimes and settle old scores in the modern west. Writer-director Michael Cimino's conception of these characters is strange to say the least and this movie must have been a staggering blind-side to anyone who paid to see what they thought would be a standard-issue Eastwood action film. Loaded with quotable lines and weird visual setpieces, it's one of the outlaw classics of the seventies. With George Kennedy and Geoffrey Lewis as Eastwood's vengeful and greedy former partners. If you liked FREEBIE AND THE BEAN, this is the next dose of your medicine. (Lars)

BIG GUNS
DEC 1, $1, DIR. DUCCIO TESSARI, 1973, 35MM, 90 MIN, R
When we think of Europe in films we probably think of smooth-lined sophistication, an appealing mixture of old-world charm and modern taste. That's precisely what we get in the crime films of Duccio Tessari. Like protaganist Alain Delon, this movie is all coolness and style on the surface with a raging torrent of violence just below the skin. Delon plays the undisputed number one, class-A hitman in the world. When he decides to retire his employers decide to make it permanent. Needless to say it doesn't take and he gets really angry at them. He kills some people and looks really sharp doing it. This is one of the very best European crime films ever made, visually stunning and spiritually devastating. See it with someone you're secretly planning to kill! (Lars)

INVINCIBLE ARMOR
DEC 8, $1, DIR. SEE YUEN-NG, 1977, 35MM, 90 MIN, R
One of the most purely satisfying old school kung fu movies ever. INVINCIBLE ARMOR looks like it was made for about 10 bucks but the kung fu is unreal. The young fight choreographers Yuen Biao and Corey Yuen push the action into the stratosphere and stars John Liu and Hwang Jang Lee put on a demonstration of precision face-kicking that will have you spitting out teeth. The title refers to a form of kung fu that is invincible except for one vulnerable point. I won't spoil it for you but when you see the final reckoning you will probably lose your shit. This movie has a lot going for it but my favorite part of the film is Hwang Jang Lee’s perfect embodiment of the no-good, shit-starting, white-haired old man with the (almost) unbeatable kung-fu technique.(Lars)

CARNIVAL MAGIC with Special Surprises!
DEC 15, $1, DIR. AL ADAMSON, 1981, 35MM, 80 MIN, NR
If you’ve ever checked out our Weird Wednesdays, you’ve seen some pretty strange things. But unless you’ve sparked up the sherm with Bigfoot on the moon you’ve never seen anything quite as awe-inspiringly demented as this “inspirational” kids’ movie from the director of SATAN’S SADISTS and BLACK SAMURAI. Why anyone thought this was appropriate for kids we’ll never understand. Although it might be educational to see the lion tamer gratuitously slapping his girlfriend around or a woman apparently giving an ape hand-relief (we didn’t believe it at first either), we don’t know if we’d be prepared to field Junior’s many questions about the unsavory goings-on in the cheapest, most depraved carnival this side of Tod Browning’s FREAKS. It’s a sick world and this Wednesday we’re going to help spread the disease. Oh, and if you bring your kids to this you’re on your own. (Lars)

THE MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE
DEC 22, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. RICHARD PARISH, 1964, 35MM, 60 MIN, G
Special seasonal reprise of the Christmas-killing hit! Here it is: the evil holiday movie we've all secretly been waiting for. It made its producers wealthy men and turned a generation of children into santaphobic sociopaths. We are still paying the cost. It's a very strange film and we're not sure why anyone would make it, but two words come to mind: Malicious Intent. Why else would the young hero be abducted by a witch and forced to uh, plant Satan's magic seed in his backyard? The seed grows into a tree that gives him three wishes. Then the kid abducts Santa Claus, straps him to a chair and abuses him until he gets all the toys in the world. Plus there's a long race between a lawnmower and a turtle and more tomfoolery presided over by the powers of Darkness, including the appearance of a giant who says inappropriate things. We cannot be held responsible for any lasting trauma. (Lars)

THE DEAN'S WIFE
DEC 29, MIDNIGHT, $1, DIR. BENJAMIN ONIVAS, 1969, 35MM, 73 MIN, NR
I don't know what the sixties were really like but I'm pretty sure they weren't anything at all like this movie. Amid a backdrop of student protests the Dean's wife, played by the bodacious redhead Christine Murray, generously donates her time and affections to bettering the state of student/faculty relations. After several lively and spiritually uplifting scenes of the act of physical love, the action settles down to a party at the house of the Dean, where the depraved Professor Clove demonstrates his spanking technique for the benefit of the assembled guests and everybody (but the Dean) gets down and dirty. Pretty soon a bunch of radical students show up with their LSD and giant boobs, and the whole last reel is the Dean's big-breast-laden bad LSD trip. Should be shown to every college administrator in the country and the sooner the better. (Lars)

Sept Oct Weird Wednesday Calendar

BOSS NIGGER
SEP 1, DIR. JACK ARNOLD, 1975, 35MM, RITZ
Can we even print that title? It must have been a really tough choice for exhibitors back in the day to decide whether or not to include the verbal equivalent of a thousand sticks of dynamite in their newspaper ads and on their marquees. But here you go. It's blaxploitation icon Fred Williamson in the old west. And you better believe The Hammer rights a few wrongs while he’s there. Williamson and his comic-relief sidekick D’Urville Martin play bounty hunters who become sheriff and deputy of a small racist town. It’s kind of like an ass-kicking, more serious version of BLAZING SADDLES. As a special bonus the bad guy is played by muscular reptile William Smith, who always charges into a role with maximum intensity. You'll have nightmares about him. Oh, and if you think the title is offensive, that's just an appetizer. This movie drops more bombs than the Screaming Eagles. Wait until you hear the theme song, it’s got like twenty or thirty in there. You won’t believe it. (Lars)

SEXUS
SEP 8, DIR. JOSE BÉNAZÉRAF, 35MM, RITZ
In the early 60s a lot of sleepy arthouse theaters suddenly started turning a profit. Instead of the 20 or 30 people who would trickle in to see GRAND ILLUSION and sip espresso, there were lines around the block to see Brigitte Bardot or Harriet Andersson show a little skin in subtitled European imports. As hard as it is to believe now, when we can watch donkey shows on our cellphones, this was the only way to see skin on screen in those days. So Joe Sixpack and Sal the plumber would sit and watch some of the most obtuse films ever made just to see the side of a boob. Pretty soon distributors and filmmakers were scrambling to meet the demands of exhibitors and audiences. SEXUS is a fake art film. It has all the handheld camera work and bongo playing you’d expect from a real art film but it exists for the sole reason of providing titillating scenes of sex and violence. The thing is, director José Bénazéraf draws strength from vulgarity and makes a film that, on balance, constitutes better art than a lot of the “real” art films it displaced. SEXUS is undeniably cheap and the siege/kidnap plot won’t win any awards for originality but it has a great visual vitality, almost every frame could stand alone as a work of art, and the score by Chet Baker is cooler than a polar bear. Almost by accident it is one of the best Beat Generation films. A rare treat for enthusiasts of cinema history, jazz music, naked women and wraparound sunglasses. (Lars)

THE BEES
SEP 15, DIR. ALFREDO ZACARIAS, 1978, 35MM, RITZ
As the world seemingly began falling apart in the '70s, a new kind of movie spectacle appeared to help audiences focus their anxiety and freak the fuck out together as a culture. These "disaster movies" as they became known depicted frightening scenarios ranging from the sinking of a luxury liner to a catastrophic high rise fire. And they were box office boomers for most of the decade. It shouldn't come as any surprise that low-budget filmmakers were waiting in the wings to foist inferior product onto unsuspected audiences whipped into a disaster frenzy. THE BEES is one of those cheap knock-offs but we wouldn't trade it for a dozen of the bloodless big-ticket spectaculars that spawned it. John Saxon brings his distinctive brand of macho confidence to the role of John Norman, the undisputed champion of bee experts on Planet Earth. He puts his superior bee knowledge to the test when a rare strain of killer bees escapes from an experimental killer bee facility. Fortunately he's able to develop a "gay bee serum" that turns bees gay. Ludicrous, wildly incompetent, wholly entertaining; this is a legendary classic of fun. With elderly John Carradine, who passed away shortly before his scenes were filmed but did them anyway. (Lars)

CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE
SEP 22, DIR. JOSEPH W. SARNO, 1974, 35MM, RITZ
Nobody made adult movies like the late, great Joe Sarno. Starting in the mid-60’s, Sarno created his own unmistakable style of stylish, ultra-imaginative psychodramas. Regular Weird Wednesday viewers have seen some pretty over-the-top sex movies but there aren’t many sex movies that work on you like this one. Sarno, master of the kinky situation, concocts a whopper: a pair of swinging couples, neighbors; are dreading the arrival of their new houseguest, the attractive mother of one of the wild wives. They’ll all have to stay dressed and stop their round-the-clock boneathon... or will they? The attention Sarno pays to characterization and context really pays off. It’s an amazing experience that should not be missed. Bring a date, a raincoat, or both. (Lars)

TWILIGHT PEOPLE
SEP 29, DIR. EDDIE ROMERO, 1973, 35MM, RITZ
I’m glad nobody told Filipino B-movie god Eddie Romero that he should really have a budget if he wanted to make a movie about an island full of monstrous half-human, half-animal beasts. Then we’d be deprived of the spectacle of the ghetto goat-boy, the badly-conceived bat man or the embarrassed-looking panther woman (played by Pam Grier!). Also, Romero probably would have done something foolish with that extra money like hiring somebody other than John Ashley for the lead role. Ashley had parlayed a semi-successful stateside career as a teen actor and rockabilly singer into what passed for super-stardom in the Philippines, where he produced and starred in countless action and monster films as “the white guy”. He’s generally pretty bad, but he will start growing on you after a while, like an exotic island fungus. The whole film exudes an ambiance of sleazy tropical languor that’s quite appealing in its humid way. (Lars)

HOUSE ON STRAW HILL
OCT 6, DIR. JAMES KENELM CLARKE, 1976, 35MM, RITZ
Few actors have ever delivered as much lunacy on such a regular basis as Udo Kier. His performances as the lead fiends in BLOOD FOR DRACULA and FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN had made him one of the top maniacs on the scene long before he started making Lars Von Trier and Werner Herzog movies even stranger. Here he plays a misanthropic novelist who retreats to a rural farm to do a bit of writing and a lot of hetero sexing with his three beautiful women companions. Soon, he’s having vivid hallucinations and a bunch of people stop being alive! Promoted as a tour de force of Hitchcockian suspense, it’s not. But if you love watching that funny little man go berserk as much as I do, you’ll be here. (Lars)

VIOLENT CITY
OCT 13, DIR. SERGIO SOLLIMA, 1970, 35MM, RITZ
This colorful, violent noir, made by one of the most skillful Italian genre directors has a lot going for it. It's made in a pop art, post-POINT BLANK style; the pacing is clean and tight; the music is by Ennio Morricone; how could it get any better than that? Well you could sprinkle some Charles Bronson on that bitch. When it comes to ice-cold killing machines, Charles Bronson is the man for the job. He looks like a rage in a track suit. The plot is in the mode of Jacques Tourneur's OUT OF THE PAST with Bronson seeking revenge, killing a lot of people and acting smoother than Jason Statham’s balls. Telly Savalas plays the effeminate mob boss Bronson has to join up with. One of the best scenes in the film features Savalas offering Bronson a flowery cocktail. Not surprisingly Bronson refuses, and the tiny, underplayed way he turns his nose up at the drink is one of the best acting flourishes you'll see in a long time. Vicious, brutal, essential. (Lars)

WONDER WOMEN with Director Robert Vincent O’Neill Live
OCT 20, DIR. ROBERT VINCENT O’NEILL, 1973, 35MM, RITZ
As the weather cools off, we can warm ourselves with the tropical heat of this made-in-the-Phillipines drive-in exploitation classic. You can feel the warmth of the sun radiating from every island-lensed frame. Every cockfight, every weird hand-painted jeep, every purple, orange and green polyester shirt proclaims that the days are long, the UV rays are potentially deadly and that summer is roasting us with its awesomeness! This is possibly the oddest duck of all Filipino movies, and there have been some real mind-bogglers. This one stars lovely Asian-American Nancy Kwan as a transplant doctor who does a brisk business grafting the sex organs of healthy young male athletes onto the bodies of over-the-hill millionaires. She’s aided by a lightly clad army of sexy kung-fu amazons and Sid Haig as an effeminate penis salesman. Do I seriously need to keep typing? (Lars)

THRILL OF THE VAMPIRES
OCT 27, DIR. JEAN ROLLIN, 1971, 35MM, RITZ
The druggy surrealist sex vampire movies of Jean Rollin are considered a bit excessive by more traditional horror movie fans. Screw those mama’s boys. Jean Rollin's movies are so great I would personally go to war for them if I had to. For years I've gotten weird looks every time I rave about Rollin's Man Ray inflected pulp art masterpieces like THE NUDE VAMPIRE, CAGED VIRGINS, SCHOOLGIRL HITCHIKERS and this. Rollin's films are virtual encyclopedias of fetishistic sex and horror movie imagery, lashed together under the flimsiest dime novel pretexts of plot. But they garnered an enthusiastic following among students in Paris, who watched these bizarre films alongside the skid row popeyes in Pigalle nudie theaters. In this regard they form a continuity across generations with the silent serials of Louis Feuillade, which also had tiny budgets and played in flea-bitten theaters for enthusiastic audiences of pickpockets and Bolsheviks in the '20s. Featuring the gorgeous French sex star Sandra Julian (I AM A NYMPHOMANIAC) and a beautiful vampire who sleeps in a grandfather clock. Music by high school prog rock band Acanthus. An essential movie experience. (Lars)

July August Weird Wednesday Titles and Writeups

Bad news for Michigan Phil. Freebie & The Bean.

THE MIAMI CONNECTION

July 7, Dir. Y.K. Kim and Woo-sang Park, 1986, 35mm, Ritz

Earlier this year at Weird Wednesday we presented a pretty astonishing film, NINJA TURF, a film that contains no ninjas at all but nevertheless thrilled the crowd with its depiction of immigrant street gangs and 35-year old high school students. The crowd was confused, many were angry, a few had blood streaming from their eyes. But we all knew we'd witnessed something. Now for those same people and also for those who missed NINJA TURF because they had to work or were pussies, we present the director's followup THE MIAMI CONNECTION. It also takes place among superannuated high schoolers and there's a lot of talk (and even a song) about ninjas but it remains to be seen whether any ninjas were actually persuaded to appear in this film. Part of us hopes not. After all, it's not ninjas themselves that excite us, it's the anticipation that ninjas might appear. (Lars)

GONE WITH THE POPE

July 14, Dir. Duke Mitchell, 2010, 35mm, Ritz

In what was believed for years to be his only movie as writer-director, MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE (aka THE EXECUTIONER), Duke Mitchell (aka Dominic Micelli) created a film about the mafia that crackled with vular authenticity. It's kind of an underground classic, showing small-time underworld hoods in much the same light as THE SOPRANOS did so many years later. Mundane details of criminal life were given the same weight as the machinations of a major racket. MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE, while not perfect, leaves the audience wanting more of Mitchell's odd world view. We're happy to report that Duke Mitchell's lost film GONE WITH THE POPE has surfaced. It's further proof that Mitchell is the cinematic poet of vinyl sofas, mustache wax and overloaded bullet squibs. The premise is brilliant, a hustling crook gets the bright idea to kidnap the pope and demand $1 ransom from every Catholic on the planet! Our knuckles are sweating with anticipation! (Lars)

HOLLYWOOD HIGH

July 21, Dir. Patrick M. Wright, 1976, 35mm, Ritz

70s teen sex comedies were never noted for high standards of writing, acting, editing or directing but HOLLYWOOD HIGH is a goddamn outrage. They say if you gave an infinite number of monkeys typewriters one of them would produce Hamlet. Well, if you gave three monkeys a camera, they could produce HOLLYWOOD HIGH and be done in time for lunch and a rubdown in the steam room. It's just uncommonly poor in every regard. But that doesn't mean it won't give you every bit as much entertainment as a movie made by people with IQs over 100. It's mainly about a group of teenagers who get high, drink a lot of beer and then look for a place to have sex. They made a whole movie about that. There's also a guy who's supposed to resemble the Fonz from HAPPY DAYS. He's called "the Fenz." Also, I have reason to suspect the guy playing the wacky retarded guy is actually retarded. Be warned. (Lars)

CANDY TANGERINE MAN

July 28, Dir. Matt Cimber, 1975, 35mm, Ritz

One of the all-time great blaxploitation classics. Though not as well known as the bigger-budget, studio-distributed hits like SHAFT and SUPERFLY, CANDY TANGERINE MAN was one of the most popular, widely seen independent movies of the '70s. It's a kind of Jekyll and Hyde story. The Baron is a middle-class suburban family man by day (he even mows the lawn), but when the sun goes down he's the king of pimps. His Rolls Royce even has flames painted on the sides. No other movie, not even THE MACK, has presented such a colorful, fun, nasty view of "the life". Anyone who shows up for this one expecting to see a slick polished Hollywood showroom model will be disappointed. On the other hand, those who expect to see a wall-to-wall velour fashion show with a thumping funk soundtrack and nasty, mean-spirited dialogue straight out of Iceberg Slim will find themselves aloft and afloat on a purple-velvet, Hai-Karate-scented cloud nine. With flames painted on the sides. From the director of THE WITCH WHO CAME FROM THE SEA. (Lars)

MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH

Aug 4, Dir. William Grefe, 1976, 35mm, Ritz

Part of Alamo SHARK WEEK! August 2-8 at the Ritz! Ever since the colossal success of JAWS, there have been lots of movies made about the shark menace. The smell of money in the water drove producers into a rip-off frenzy, resulting in such immortal works as UP FROM THE DEPTHS, GREAT WHITE, MONSTER SHARK and their little homies BARRACUDA, ORCA and TENTACLES. MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH at least has an original angle on things. Richard Jaeckel plays a weird nature-loving guy in South Florida who has a psychic link with sharks. When he finds out they're being exploited by scumbag scientists who conduct illegal experiments on them, he decides to take a bite out of crime. More a portrait of Jaeckel's obsessive oddball than a shark movie at all, MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH has a lot of the steamy pulp energy that characterizes Florida movies. Everyone is covered with a thin layer of sweat and grime and most of the plot logic seems to have been boiled out of the mixture. With foxy Jennifer Bishop as one of those mermaids in a tank, Harold "Oddjob" Sakata and Milton "Butterball" Smith as "Butter". (Lars)

FREEBIE AND THE BEAN

Aug 11, Dir. Richard Rush, 1974, 35mm, Ritz

A buddy movie about two fascist cops in San Francisco. They violate the civil rights of everyone within a 400 foot radius, steal, extort, destroy a lot of private and public property, shoot and run over innocent bystanders. they're total fucking dicks and they're great. James Caan plays Freebie, who uses his badge to get as many perks as he can, and Alan Arkin plays Bean, a Mexican American (!) cop with a serious anger management problem. The film follows them through a typical investigation as they ruthlessly beat confessions out of suspects, perform illegal searches, shoot a nurse, ridicule a dentist and worse. While it may sound grim - it's not. It's hilarious. Caan and Arkin are relentlessly charming and funny, even as they shred the constitution and wreck dozens of cars. Director Richard Rush (THE STUNT MAN, PSYCH OUT) was basically given carte blanche to use San Francisco as his canvas, and he creates a subversive masterpiece that leaves audiences exhausted from laughing and cheering. (Lars)

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS

Aug 18, Dir. Bert I. Gordon, 1965, 35mm, Ritz

Bizarre mod fantasy about a group of juvenile delinquents who take a growth potion created by young Ron Howard and become giant hellraising teenagers. It's a pretty extreme cautionary parable about the inevitable youth revolt that was already germinating fast in the initial wave of baby boomer puberty. But sociology aside, it's a lot of fun, there's a kind of careening irresponsibility in it all, as the young people literally walk all over the adult establishment. It's also sexy in that inimitable mid-'60s way. When the teenagers grow, they naturally grow out of their clothes so we're treated to the spectacle of radiant, healthy young 60 foot-tall beauties wearing a scrap or two of improvised clothing. Very loosely based on the story "Food Of The Gods" by H.G. Wells. Starring Beau Bridges, Joy Harmon, Tisha Sterling, Johnny Crawford and a raging young Toni Basil. (Lars)

CHOOSE YOUR OWN WEIRD WEDNESDAY

Aug 26

YOU MUST CHOOSE! Since its inception, the Weird Wednesday Choose Your Own Adventure Night has been a virtual guarantor of cinematic strangeness far beyond even our own Wildest Dreams. Here's how it works: we pull three movies from the vaults, I'll fill you in a bit on the details, then you, the audience, will choose the movie by applauding. As always, we have some awesome movies set aside for just such an occasion. Choose Your Own Weird Wednesday is one of the great, though irregularly scheduled, traditions of this series. Some of the best, wrongest and just plain awkward moments in my life (Anybody remember the chugging magenta meat of COUNTRY HOOKER?) have been at Choose Your Own Weird Wednesday nights. This year make your voice heard! And don't come sniffing around looking for hints about which movies will be in the mix 'cause I'll just make some shit up. (Lars)